Childs Play
My neice came into my room as I was tidying it.
"Uncle Gregory, do you want to play monsters?"
I didn't. Quickly I devised a cunning plan to get her out of my room. I would pretend to be a monster that was about to eat her up. If she wanted monsters by heck I was going to give her more than she bargained for. I grabbed her hand and pulled my lips back over my teeth.
"I'm hungry!" I exclaimed, " I neeeed to eat flesssssssssh", I then rolled my eyes back into my head and let a drop of saliva roll out of my mouth and dribble onto my chin.
This had the desired effect and she was suitably scared. I let go of her arm , kept my eyes rolled back and waited for the satisfying terrfied patter of tiny feet out of my room. I was still waiting when she replied quite calmly "Don't eat me, eat Cynthia".
Now, Cynthia is her best friend from school, and she also lives a short walk from our house. My eyes were beginning to ache and the saliva on my chin felt cold and sticky, but I wasnt about to give in to a toddler, no sir! Besides, I wanted to teach my neice that you shouldnt sell out your friends to save your own hide. I decided to 'pretend' to eat Cynthia. Eyes rolled back I fumbled for the door handle left the room and shut the door. I corrected my aching eyes and made sounds similar too what I imagined it sounds like when an monster with claws tracks, hunts, and devours a 4 year old girl. I realised that this theatre was taking a lot more time than time than the standard 10 minute game of monster hide'n seek. but, I had a point to prove. From inside my bedroom I could giggling , my neice was amused. I was concerned. I rerolled my eyes & returned into the room. 'Ha, now you dont have Cynthia to play with! Now I will eat you up". Over the next 20 minutes my neice proceeded to sell out everyone she'd ever known. I ate all the children in her school, the teachers, the doctor, her parents and the lollipop lady. We'd gone through everyone, and I was about to lay my point, about altruism and integrity on her 4 year old shoulders when she was sent to bed by her parents. That pissed me off.
"Uncle Gregory, do you want to play monsters?"
I didn't. Quickly I devised a cunning plan to get her out of my room. I would pretend to be a monster that was about to eat her up. If she wanted monsters by heck I was going to give her more than she bargained for. I grabbed her hand and pulled my lips back over my teeth.
"I'm hungry!" I exclaimed, " I neeeed to eat flesssssssssh", I then rolled my eyes back into my head and let a drop of saliva roll out of my mouth and dribble onto my chin.
This had the desired effect and she was suitably scared. I let go of her arm , kept my eyes rolled back and waited for the satisfying terrfied patter of tiny feet out of my room. I was still waiting when she replied quite calmly "Don't eat me, eat Cynthia".
Now, Cynthia is her best friend from school, and she also lives a short walk from our house. My eyes were beginning to ache and the saliva on my chin felt cold and sticky, but I wasnt about to give in to a toddler, no sir! Besides, I wanted to teach my neice that you shouldnt sell out your friends to save your own hide. I decided to 'pretend' to eat Cynthia. Eyes rolled back I fumbled for the door handle left the room and shut the door. I corrected my aching eyes and made sounds similar too what I imagined it sounds like when an monster with claws tracks, hunts, and devours a 4 year old girl. I realised that this theatre was taking a lot more time than time than the standard 10 minute game of monster hide'n seek. but, I had a point to prove. From inside my bedroom I could giggling , my neice was amused. I was concerned. I rerolled my eyes & returned into the room. 'Ha, now you dont have Cynthia to play with! Now I will eat you up". Over the next 20 minutes my neice proceeded to sell out everyone she'd ever known. I ate all the children in her school, the teachers, the doctor, her parents and the lollipop lady. We'd gone through everyone, and I was about to lay my point, about altruism and integrity on her 4 year old shoulders when she was sent to bed by her parents. That pissed me off.
posted by CheeseBiscuit at 7:49 AM
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