sleep dog

I went to see a few good men at the theatre last night. It was shit.
I slept through the entire first part.
Sleep is always a good way out of an uninspiring situation, its like a backdoor out of a room with no exits.
If I could I would use sleep offensivily; for example, instead of shouting abuse at someone I'd just sleep right then right there, IN THIER FACE!
I'll train myself to be able to switch off my consciencousness and be somewhere else instantly.
For the person at the recieving end it will be as if I switched over and that they were a boring channel.
Scenario I:
"Hey buddy you've just stepped on my shoe!"
"So what?"
"Whaddaya mean so what?"
"Zzzzzzzz"
Nice. :-)
I'll be sure to perfect the smug self satisfied grin of someone who imagines he is doing something better somewhere else thats nicer.
Old people mastered the art of offensive sleep , they are all blackbelts.
Spontaneous sleep and incontinence, thats skills dawg.
Scenario II:
"Who dat old fool?"
"Yo yo! watch what you saying - that dude can shit before you can say sorry"