In the beginning......

In the beginning there was dirt.
The dirt was the muck of the world and swirled and bubbled under the firmanent above. And thus it was called the great Glub.
Then She said
"Let there be nice things"
And henceforth sprang the cuddly , beamers and boppers, soothers and understanders. And She brought forth all the goodness locked inside the glub and smoothed thier corners and made nice the things which were a little bit soiled.
When she looked at what She had created she smiled, and said
"These shall be named PEOPLE"
But lo, the Great Glub became even glubbier and bubbled indignantly.
"Lady of the 8 heavens, what injustice is this that you take out of me the cuddly, soothing and downright chipper bits and leave me to stink in my stinkiness"
Seeing the filth of Glub left behind , She took pity and formed from that glubby Glub that which we call ugly, stupid and a tad dense.
"She said - Oh people of the glub, please understand there was not much left in the glub from which to form the wise and the chipper, the deft and the nimble, the quick and the brave.
But you shall be called the GREAT STUPID! And people will marvel and come from far and wide to me struck dumb by your great stupidity."
Then Keiron the Nosepicker stepped forth and spake:
"But lady we have no homes, where apon shall us, Sons of Glub reside to recieve such aclaim?"
She then pulled back the muck from thier beady eyes and smilled.
As they looked on the Sons of Glub saw rows and rows of glass fronted houses. Some said T-mobile, others Orange, others the Link.
"Behold, I give you residence in Mobile Phone Stores, Go Forth and spread your thickness and stupidity far and wide. Amaze people with your lack of knowledge of even the simplest things. Waste time, look dumbly at the people that enter your premises - GO NOW SONS OF GLUB AND FULFILL YOUR DESTINY"
and so it was
amen