What the Born again Christians Told Me

They told me I was going to hell.
They told me that my family was going to hell.
They told me that my friends were going to hell.
They told me that the devil hates me and wants to destroy me to hurt God.
They told me that God loves me, but if I dont fix up he'll send me to hell.
They told me that when I had sex outside of marriage I was hurting God.
They told me that any friends that are not Christians may help turn me away from God.
They told me that Jimi's Music was demonically inspiried.
They told me that I should give money to the church.
They told me that the universe is full of angels and demons (I actually still believe this).
They told me that If God I were close, I could put my hands on people and God could heal people through me. ( I actually tried this once with a homeless alcoholic and it didnt work so I stopped eating regularly for a week and praying lots cus I thought, God and I werent getting along)
They told me that speaking in tongues was your soul talking to God.
They told me that God likes it when I don't eat for him (fasting).
They told me that God likes it when you give the church money.