Bode

Who needs to search for the meaning of life when you have Bode?

My most embarrassing moment

I've had quite a few :- I was in some windswept town West of QingHai East of Tibet. Maria (aka Ma Liya) and I had checked into a hotel to get some rest before moving on.... Maria felt generous so she took me out for a meal. Its a well known fact that the Chinese charge a lot more money to foreigners than their own. The pièce de résistance at this fine establishment was a slightly slimy joint of some unrecognizable meat.
With Maria's encouragement I proceeded to clear my plate of everything , including this joint which reminded me slightly of dog I had sampled earlier in my travels.
So it was, that I ended up eating like a king for abour a fiver.
...A king I was, as I spent the next two days on the throne!
Around two hours later the dog decided he wanted out immediately, i suffered the most excruiateing stomach cramps and what seemed like perpetual need to go and 'let dog swim around the pool'. On what seemed like my 70th visit to the throne, I discovered with supreme angst that we were out of toilet paper. I didnt have time to call room service - so I let what was left of rover out to sea.
We'd already bathed so I figured that I'd get the shower-tit and use it as a B-Day.
Shuffling across the dingy bathroom (my pants were around my ankles) I made it to the bath with. Jumping I managed to dislodge the shower tit from the wall.
Now, facing the bathroom door I stuck my posterior over the bath and turned on the ice-cold water. The feeling was something like being sodomised by Mr Frosty. But I held on... I had to get my self clean. By now I was grimacing.
Thats when Maria walked in.
She grimaced closed the door. And nothing was more was said about the incident.
She also never let me sleep with her again.

Red Letter

I got a email message from China, some girl called Ma Liya. Hadnt the slightest clue who the hell it was until i realised it was Maria, a Chinese girl that I travelled with to Tibet.
I gave her the English name Maria my pronounciation of her Chinese name was so bad she never knew when i was addressing her!
I met her on a 49hr trainride between Beijing and QingHai provence and she was the most sour faced woman on that train and she ended up sitting next to me. My chinese is bad to the point of being ridiculous - (I called her an old dog once when i meant to say old tiger) through general curiosity and card games we managed to get along, so well -in fact that we ended up staying in a hotel together. I still remember my chat up line
Wo bu yao shou ni zai jian ( I dont want tell you goodbye). Not smooth, but it seemed to do the trick. I told her I was trying to get to Tibet but I didnt have a visa, she agreed to join because the traditional medicines are cheaper there and more varied.
Fast forward to a 2 day bus ride, shagging quietly in hotels so monks next door wouldnt hear, being smuggled into Tibet in the bottom of a Taxi.
She didnt know a word of english so imagine my surprise at getting an email from her./......

I'm looking forward to her reply,

Hellish thoughts

I had a dream not long after my father died, I met him (as you do most dead people in dreams) in an ordinary situation. He'd been given 'holiday' from death. So we sat in my sisters living room and chilled. We talked - Rather I think I just kept telling him how much I missed him. He told me that hell does exist and he'd seen some of it - he told me that in hell they can speak words straight into your mind and they become your thoughts - your rationale. That the demons wreek havoc by messing with the minds of the tormented, and theres no death there to escape to. Then his iris' turned yellow and oval like a cats - his body stiffened and I knew it was time for him to go again. I was to dumbstruck to say goodbye I just watched him die all over again knowing there was nothing i could do.
* * * *
When I woke I was so distraught I was in a dream for days, it was then I decided that I gotta be good to get to heaven. The thing is the more I look around the more like hell it seems. Have I not just spoken straight into your thoughts with these words and caused you distress. I wish sometimes the written word wouldnt speak straight into my mind the way it does sometimes.

Making Energy

A thought struck me on the way home today. I was thinking about the greatest moments in my life. Some of the best times that I've had. I remember when I bought my first flat, I remember chilling in Cote d'Ivoire by a glacial river opposite hippos, I remember being smuggled into Tibet, I remember leaving a school of Chinese Children, sleeping under a sandune in the sahara, standing up on a surfboard, falling in love with a girl called Jo, chilling under the sun. The truth is that not all of my most memorable experiences have been high drama - but they have all had one thing in common - high emotional energy. It almost as if I was completely caught up in the romance of the situaion as it happened as opposed to in retro spect. Its the feeling of love that makes an event special, its recognisiing theres no place that you'd rather be right now. Perceiving this love is the secret to being happy, and the secret to percieving love is being romantic. Being nice - sharing that part that you reserve for those close to you -with everyone. Sharing your heart with the world.
Step in and Act *
or
Steal my body home. **

Devils and Gods

Recently I've been feeling the folly of duality. Everything has been divided into two. Upper class and lower class. Rich and Poor. Before and after. Right and Wrong. Gods and Devils.
So much study is poured into these facades that you could read opinions for a thousand years on each of these divisions. But really everything is in context, its all relative its all depends on how you look at things , where you are. If the devil is a god to some, is god a devil to others. The truth is when you look at anything close enough its always in the middle. Somewhere between black and white , somewhere between right and wrong. We werent meant to spend time divinding things , we were meant to spend time uniting things. In fact its easier , its called not thinking - its called accepting things for what they are, influencing things through reconciliation other than through conflict.

txt msg: gt outov my lfe

I got a text today from old girl - something about picking my stuff up.
I didnt read it all - really busy at work - besides its the thought that counts.

I want my willy to fall of in the Amazon

I was in a supermarket on the way home today, meditating as I walked home. They idea of my meditation is to stop thinking , quite simple really. So im in Sainsburys picking up a fruit smoothie when I'm struck - I look around and I see the absurd situation for what it is - lots of people casually browsing - comparing prices - making informed descisions about what to eat. You can even choose how healthy the food is you want to eat. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? The world was created to be abundant with food, in the wild - we would've strolled through the earth trying different foods, climbing trees to eat fruit, filling our bellies with all organic food then falling asleep under trees or being moved on by terriorial beasts. Ok so it would be a bit grubby and it would be kinda difficult to whip up a souffle, no nhs so you may be afflicted by some amazonian willy disease but we would be healthier and not reduced to this - a bunch of people squiniting at prices under artificial light and looking at pictures of food that bears little resemblence to the product.
I cant help but think that of all the species on this planet, we have the least dignity.





......sloths and bonobos excluded

How to dump someone

Just don't call... Don't answer calls. Allow your phone to fill up with messages until theres no more space. That way they know you didnt even bother to listen to their messages. Arrange to meet then dont show up.
Break promises -
Eventually they'll call and ask you to pick up your stuff and get out of thier life.
Its that simple.....
Well thats the weak way, but I've had it with doing the proper thing. Do whats in your heart, but be prepared to listen to what your heart tells you and the karma you produce.
My heart after new years day Jan 2006 felt fucked - I was messed up - I had mixed my energy with a depressive and opened my soul to her during lovemaking. I felt someone had taken my chest and dumped a load of old fusty newspapers in it, I just didnt feel me, I had to leave. I did it the best way I could, looking after myself and my feelings. I didnt want to talk about it, explain - the truth is I couldnt. The truth is I was too weak.

The renaissance of energy

So whats been happenin' , well in my personal life I dropped both new girl and old girl.
I've met up with a friend who is a crazy ethusiastic dreamer, shes an artist and lots of her work revolves around special numbers like the golden mean , we hooked up in a bar in Kings Road - she has this amazing open energy that draws people her. She recently had an exhibition in which she sold the majority of her works ' So I'm quite rich now' - she beamed. I fumed for as much as I have been trying to do whats 'proper', I get this nagging feeling like im getting fucked with a massive dildo , ever so slowly. So slowly in fact that I dont notice it - as its slid inch by inch inside of me. Have you ever looked at your feet as you walk home from work? See the fatigue in the steps and think how much you put your body through. For sure its a mental prison. We think we are safe inside because we are told we cant manage without.
Self inflicted.
So we talked and we kinda came to the conclusion that we gotta dump our respective partners

7 everests

Currently reading the art of peace , by another japanese chap.

Great read and I really feel what he's saying . I havent felt this much spiritual power since I was brainwashed by the born again Christians.

Work is going really well, Okri says beware of the 7 mountains , but it all feels so good.